Unprofessionally Speaking: Tardiness and disregard for your coworkers

“If your position can’t change your view and actions on tardiness, the leader will eventually follow the ones being led.”

Whether you’re a manager, supervisor or employee, you are expected to remain employable. And I’ll explain what I mean by that in this blog. These are my opinions and If you’re offended then your presence and attention on my blog is wasted.

When you seek employment it’s most likely to pay bills and rent as most adults do. You apply for the position and hope you are impressionable enough to stand out amongst the other candidates. You show your best face and promise your time to that employer, do you not? Good news! You were hired for the position you applied for. You are expected to work 32-40 hours a week and are compensated either biweekly or weekly for the completion of the agreed upon hours you are being offered. The company will have you read over packets or a booklet that include their policies on tardiness, gross inattentiveness and insubordination to name a few. Still, you continue with this employment opportunity knowing what’s expected of you.

Now that you are employed, you’re obviously expected to report for the shifts you’ve agreed to on your initial application. You’re expected to respect the company’s policy and though life does happen and things can occur at a moments notice, tardiness and unexcused absences that become a pattern are the metaphorical kryptonite to your coworkers work ethics.

Generically speaking, the company policy example above explains what most companies expect. In the security field, 4 hours prior to your shift is what was enforced. But in retail I guess the time frame varies. The policy above gives you a general idea of what is expected of employees while employed with their company of choice. The biggest problem and complaint I have is tardiness. Not that I think I’m always on time but I can say even if I’m late im on time. But to watch a coworker relieve me late by 10 to 15 minutes when I can cover the same situation in less than 5 and im far from “militant”.

The disregard for your fellow coworker added up weekly is 60 minutes by your tardy standards. It’s funny to you but very disrespectful to me. You’re playing a game that I have no desire to sign up for. My job is serious to me, whether I complain or not. I hate that my work ethic is ignored while theirs is seriously lacking professionalism.

Speaking of complaints, Unprofessionally, my biggest one is tardiness. It’s 0815, welcome to work. I may have a complaint.

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Unprofessionally Speaking: Hostile work environment fueled by Gossip

“If your work ethic is dependent on your wage, you’ll never succeed.”

Does it bother anyone else that the laziest and/or most unreliable employees have the most complaints? I kick into work mode regardless of compensation. If I can assist to pass the time and learn new skills, I’m all for it. If my work ethic depended on my wages, I’d have no experiences and skills to list on my resume. I give 100 percent to any task I’m delegated or volunteer to assist with.

I recently had the opportunity to assist at a job that I had been volunteering (uncompensated) for, in an effort to assist with over stocking and heavy work loads for the other employees at this job. When the opportunity arose for me to get hired as a fill in employee for those who called out or needed a personal day, that’s when the sloth employees begin to whisper their complaints with management. I showed my work ethic and it threatened these employees enough to want to air out the dirty laundry tied to this place of employment. Including the fact that I was the manager’s boyfriend, and that he was gay, which was speculated bit never confirmed until the two sloth employees decided to voice their opinions against their manager.

Though the outcome of this high school drama including the plus sized Mean Girls infuriated me, I had to keep my opinions to myself and just accept that I was unable to get hired due the conflict of interest, my boyfriend being the hiring manager. The company would have gained a respectable and reliable employee who is always open to try new tasks and willing to be crossed trained in all aspects of the store. I’m someone who learns my job and excels in going above and beyond for the company I’m employed with. Instead they celebrated and kept two sloth employees in an effort to dilute the tension between current employees and management. If I was single and the manager had no idea who I was, the outcome would have been completely different. Jealousy runs deep and that’s the sad truth.

Unprofessionally Speaking, I know my worth and this rejection isn’t going to derail my position or progression in YOUR manager’s life. I’m here to stay Plastics, or is it “Elastics” for Big Girls?

That’s all. Carry On…

Officially Speaking Metaphorically: Part Two

I was born in 2010, somewhere between Rad and Markisz, I had my occasional take over’s. I’m referred to as “Markisz’s twin” alot but the reasoning behind my creation and eventual appearance is far more sexualized and seductive. Through his (Markisz) drunken moments and times of “high” excitement I was being molded to be what he could not be, A Temptress for “straight” or “down low” men. I speak seductively and I’m very visual with my mannerisms, almost as if I’m hypnotizing the object of Markisz’s “affections” aka Hook-Ups, though 90 percent of time it was just a game to us (Markisz and I).

But enough of the little “Ha Ha” history between my twin and I. Let me explain what forced my creation to begin with. Around 2009, a year into dating his ex, Markisz began to see that men who acted or were straight were attractive to him, the thrill of the chase I guess. He began to quickly realize that his appearance and character were not attracting these types of guys. Though he was in a relationship, Markisz began to suspect his then partner of infidelity and the proof just made him spiral out of control and begin to look for hook ups in an attempt to numb the pain.

Unfortunately for him, the drunken rages and desperate attempts to chase down the next high was working against him. These drunken rages caused black outs. And during these moments of unconsciousness was when I surfaced to take over what Markisz tried and failed at, having fun and demanding attention from the boys. I understand why I was created but I evolved into a much more passive personality. The calm to Markisz’s rage.

My appearances and take over’s are never for extended periods of time, though my style and affinity for beauty and nails becomes more evident when I’m in charge. My Clothing becomes very androgynous and leaning towards feminine for the biological male body I’m tied to. I’ll begin using pronouns for a female when referring to myself. What else can I say?… I guess a girl just wants to have fun!

My appearance is rare, so when I’m in your presence, it’s ok to stare. 😉

Officially Speaking, my name is Marisza.

I’m the one who’ll capture you when Markisz leads the chase…

Heart & Mind: The Inner Dialogue (Scene One)

“When the options between your heart and mind are unresolved, it’s left in your hands to play judge, jury and executioner.”

The following inner dialogue is based on true events and thoughts, though its been edited and dramatized for the purpose of this article. Don’t read to judge, but instead read to understand.

Scene 1:

After you’ve initially met your new love or partner, you go your separate ways and reflect on the time you just spent together.

The Heart (♥️): Wow, can you believe it? I’ve never felt so warm before. Is this what love feels like?

The Mind (🧠): Now hold on a second buddy. I know you’re feeling “lovey dovey” but less we forget that the promises made by you are not often met with reciprocity. How can you be sure this time it’s right?

♥️: I feel it. It’s in the way I beat when they’re in my presence. It’s the metaphorical tingles I feel when their eyes catch my stare. Do you not know what that feels like?

🧠: My purpose is to make sense out of the confusion. To ensure a proper decision is made by gathering information and finally making the right choice for both you and I. Especially since you’re blind and can only base your decisions on a “feeling” or irregular beat.

♥️: Am I not driven by intuition and emotions? Wouldn’t I be able to differentiate between genuinity and manipulation? How can I sense so much happiness and joy, and possibly face that it’s wrong or misplaced?

🧠: Unfortunately, it’s been proven that the heart can only be faulted for feeling and expressing it’s desires and love, you can only navigate through the situation based on what you feel. I, however, can infiltrate the unseen by sorting through the emotions and feelings you give off in relationships or encounters. I listen to the words and messages revealed through conversing and understanding, while you just feel the connections and begin to relate based on your intuitive disposition.

♥️: I wish I had the sight and knowledge you’ve described. Sometimes a feeling can be wrong but am I mistaken to think that even sight can be manipulated? Maybe when your vision is obscured, a feeling or sense of direction is the perfect remedy. Wouldn’t you agree?

🧠: I don’t agree. Even if my vision is obscured, my instinct to listen carefully and sense energies and slight tone changes are enough to prove that the mind is a powerful thing. I do not wish to stand in the way of OUR happiness, but I think this time around WE need to make a decision collectively. You without me and me without you is the metaphorical definition of disconnected and comatose. Be careful Fragile Heart, healing you takes a toll on me too.

♥️: I just want to feel and express the warmth and joy I feel. But you have taught me well Strong Mind, and I thank you for sensing the danger that could leave me cold and without a beat.

End Scene 1: To Be Continued…

Figuratively Speaking: Navigating through Life and Lust while maintaining the Love.

I wonder, what causes someone to cheat? What in their mind and heart makes them deceive their partner. A partner is defined as “either of a pair of people engaged together in the same activity” or “either member of a married couple or of an established unmarried couple“. So, if the feeling of love was strong enough to compel you to refer to them as your partner, where does that leave room for deception and infidelity? I’ve questioned many times why love and lust are so easily confused. I’ve even asked around to get other opinions on the subject.

Love is pursued by humans as a “missing puzzle piece” in their lives. Almost as if we naturally have the instinct to hunt for our life partners. During your search for true love, you’ll encounter false soul mates, lessons in pain to strengthen your resilience and integrity, wrong choices and dead end relationships. Sure it may seem hopeless and unattainable but I firmly believe these are the feelings and emotions we experience when we’re close to finding our true love. We go through such trials and tribulations to test our endurance and our will to overcome and persevere. But what happens to the love aspect of our lives, figuratively speaking, when lust is introduced as a co-star in our biopic lifetime movie?

Love makes you want to write poetry and sing songs to your partner. Love makes you feel happy to wake up because you can’t wait to hear from your partner. Love imprints a permanent smile on your face while maintaining an elevated heart rate at the thought of your partner in your arms or sharing a kiss with you. Now this is when the lines tend to blur. You become so involved on your feelings and emotions that it’s human nature to think of a sexual aspect to your crush, date, and potential husband or wife. Though a healthy sexual relationship is a plus, it should not be the foundation in which your relationship is built on. Lust is considered to be one of the 7 deadly sins, religiously speaking, because it’s a “very strong sexual desire” and is also described as “a psychological force producing intense wanting or longing for an object, or circumstance fulfilling the emotion“.

Lust, in my opinion, is temporary. It’s a feeling that leaves you in euphoria and ecstacy for a brief moment of sexual satisfaction. Lust does not guarantee or make promises, nor does it care for your emotional needs. Lust is simply flesh on flesh contact or the thought of a sexual idea that has built up pressure inside you enough to want to satisfy the craving. Love takes a back seat when Lust is the motivation, due to matters of the heart being irrelevant during this time of “heat”. Could this be why so many relationships suffer the fate of termination or resentment? Could it have been Lust unfulfilled that caused infidelity and deceit, and why wasn’t Love powerful enough to overcome such a desire for a temporary sexual high?

So it leads me back to my original question, “what causes someone to cheat?” Was lust a driving force in the decision to step outside your relationship or marriage? And if lust was the culprit behind the deception, was the strong feeling stronger than that of the almighty LOVE? If so, then is Love really powerful enough to overcome all obstacles and trials? I leave you with one final question, If Love is the missing puzzle piece, then what does Lust accomplish?

Officially Speaking Metaphorically… Part One

I was born from a thought my childhood best friend, Dannielle, had cooked up. Her intention was to convince her mother (may she rest in paradise) that I was her “boyfriend” and she called me “Markiss”. The girls and I got a good laugh outta the little prank but something had been unlocked in him (Rad). I wanted to play and see things through my new found honey hazel’s and slit eyebrow style. Fitted’s and Do-rag’s, wife beaters, marijuana and beer. But I barely remember any of this until he had moved to Pennsylvania, Easton to be exact in 2006.

Rad was running away from the fact that his then girlfriend had miscarried their child and then broke up with him. I remember Synchronoss (A cell phone activation call center) and then I remember moving to 5th and Allen in Allentown, Pennsylvania. The gaps in between I chalk up to him rearranging his life because he wanted to escape himself. In Allentown, I was introducing myself to everyone as MARKISZ. Rad had checked out and the new location was mine while he underwent his healing process. Allentown would unleash me and inevitably solidify my presence in his mind.

I get it, he doesn’t trust my intentions and reactions to situations because he’d never react or destroy things or people the way that I had mastered. But I’m here to demand the respect that he deserves. I don’t care that his exes and ex best friend’s in Allentown were left stung and scorn by my rage. They shouldn’t have hurt him! I’m not his personal “alter- hulk”, I’m the physical manifestation of his uncontrolled pain and rage. Blame me, sure it’s easy, but you created me because you couldn’t handle your reality. So I’m here to handle the worst for you.

Officially Speaking,

Hello My Name Is Markisz.

I guess I’m the bad guy. However, I refuse to let anyone make Rad hurt that bad again.

Trigger Happy: Mentally Speaking (Part 3)…

The navigation of a normal day involves the survival of several triggers, both new and familiar.” – Radames Fontan

❤Disregarded, Unheard or Ignored:

I’ve come to realize the little spark of frustration that follows being not heard and having to repeat myself, ignored because the other party is distracted, or disregarded as a low priority depending on the person I’m conversing with and the topic of conversation. The little spark eventually circles in my mind until it rages into a fire that unleashes words that are more often burning from uncontrolled emotions. Though most of the time it’s an innocent mistake, my anxiety begins to twist and turn it into a personal declaration of disrespect. I normally stay silent after this trigger, as if traumatized by the touch of a burning flame, afraid to speak again and still go unheard, disregarded and/or ignored completely.

🧡Invisibile, Unprioritized or Forgotten:

I have come to understand the feeling of my chest feeling heavy when I realize I’m not a priority to those I’ve made the conscience decision to prioritize as a person of high importance to me. The way my heart stings a little when those who share my living space forget that I’m there because I’m content with simplicity and the bare minimum to ensure they are living without regret or stress. I can go from room to room on a crowded family home without being seen. Invisibility may be an incredible super power, but for me it’s very much confirmation that I am of no importance to those who currently share my living space. Sometimes, though I may not show it, I would like to be sought after or checked up on. A simple, “Hey Rad, Are you ok?” Could make all the difference in my already dark and stormy world.

💛Disrespected, Scolded and/or Patronized:

The business/professional world has their usual pecking order or chain of commandand I understand and respect that. I understand that to progress you have to start at the bottom and work your way up top the position you desire. Unfortunately, no matter how fast I may learn and excel at my job description, there’s always that one employee you have to deal with that knows less than you but somehow has a higher position. That’s where the speaking ignorant and scolding comes into play, as well as, being patronized and discredited publicly because they feel the need to correct you and speak to you like a child. The anger and heat that fills my veins could be compared to the flames of hell. It infuriates me when my intelligence and my work ethic is the target of ignorance and arrogance.

💚Emotional Trauma and Repressed Memories:

Something as innocent and common like accidentally being put on mute during a conversation triggered my mind to remember a time when I was lied to and cheated on. My mind began throwing up defenses and silence was immediately followed by my shut down procedure. I abruptly ended the conversation and barricaded myself my blankets as I cried myself to sleep. Yes, I acknowledge that my reaction was presumptuous and unwarranted but the unleashing of that memory wasn’t a planned occurrence so my defensive strategy was never solidified for the situational occurrence. I felt awful for my husband when I found myself shell shocked at the familiar feeling of being put on mute while an unheard exchange of words on the other end between he and another man fueled my insecurity. I had repressed this memory so deep that I had completely forgotten that it had happened to me and now I’m left to apologize for a situation my mind blocked due to emotional trauma.

💙Hero Complexes and Selflessness:

Those who can’t do, teach right? The happiest souls harbor the darkest pain? It’s inevitable that the hero will harbor resentment and pain from the constant selfless acts of kindness that he or she themselves never get reciprocated. Save the world, all the while yours is in chaos and turmoil. Metaphorically speaking, who saves the hero? And why isn’t anyone concerned by the fact that the hero isn’t allowed their humanity. They aren’t allowed to cry or have a break down because who will be there for everyone else right? No! It’s incredibly selfish to believe the hero saves himself. Even heroes need salvation and empathy. Emotional turmoil is just as bad as a physical one.

💜Concluding Thoughts:

I whole heartedly believe that a rainbow is a sign of hope. A reminder that surviving the raging storm can bring you beauty and happiness. But the key is “Surviving” with the mental clarity to appreciate the beautiful colors harmoniously unified to create the rainbow of hope. Trauma and resentment are common after such a brutal storm, which is to be accepted. However, dwelling on that trauma can interrupt your journey to finding clearer skies. Closure is what the rainbow implies and forgiveness, for yourself, is intended.

Mentally Speaking… What Are Your Triggers? 🖤